Signs That You Are in Italy

  • “These paintings are from the 17th century, so they are very modern.”
  • You have seen two straight men wearing purple pants in the last four hours. One had a matching lilac shirt and purple moccasins.
  • Voice acting is a serious study; the dubbing is spot on for American TV programs.
  • Coach buses come with coffee makers.
  • McDonald’s is placed next to Roman ruins.
  • You pull to open a door, push to close.
  • Wine is cheaper than petrol.
  • Even though the public water supply is perfectly safe, there’s no water fountains anywhere and if you ask for tap water in restaurants, they look at you like you are crazy.
  • Eggs aren’t refrigerated, milk goes bad in 3 days, unless it’s the unrefrigerated shelf-stable kind that lasts forever.
  • Everyone is super friendly and chats with the person behind the counter. Every queue takes forever because everyone is having a chat with the person behind the counter.
  • Nothing is open between 12:30 and 3:30 pm (4:30 pm in the South). Nothing is open on Sundays. Nothing is open on Mondays. Nothing is open for the month of August.
  • Ginger comes with the label “exotique.”
  • You use plastic gloves to pick up vegetables at the grocery store. Public restrooms have no toilet paper.
  • The prime minister owns the media. The Pope owns the prime minister.
  • Flying to London costs €9. Taking the train to Rome costs €49.
  • Your roommate wakes up in the morning and turns on the TV while saying, “Let’s see if Berlusconi is dead yet!”

6 thoughts on “Signs That You Are in Italy

  1. Well done.
    I can easily sympathize with all of these. I mean, come on, its like permenant siesta there and next time I go to a restaurant, i’m ordering a big pitcher of tap water with ice!!

  2. ahah, you guys are hilarious. As you can see, I am commenting on this blog instead of going to work/writing my thesis. Let me know what the reaction is when you ask for acqua ghiacciata!

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